Something with a capital S
by wewillgo-onforever
Summary: He didn't know why he was so afraid to open the door. All he needed to do was walk over, open the door and say hello to the people inside the classroom. It wasn't like he was walking into battle. Semi-AU


Blaine had been staring at the door for five minutes. The hallway was empty sparing him from the weird looks people would give him for having a staring contest with the door. The downside was that Blaine was left alone with nothing to distract him from his thoughts.

He didn't know why he was so afraid to open the door. All he needed to do was walk over, open the door and say hello to the people inside the classroom. It wasn't like he was walking into battle.

But to Blaine it felt like he was. He knew he shouldn't be scared of the people in the room, he knew all of them. He danced and sang with them every week in glee club. But this was different. This was deeper than show tunes and solos and petty relationship drama. It was deeper than spending an afternoon shopping with Mercedes, Quinn and Kurt. It was deeper than spending all night having a "Call of Duty" marathon with Sam, Joe and the rest of the guys.

All of that paled in comparison with what Blaine was about to reveal about himself. He knew Quinn would probably get that pinched, uptight look on her face when he walked in. (Kurt liked to call it her, "Holier than thou" look) Mercedes might be slightly more understanding, but she might get a little confused about Blaine showing up. Sam would be surprised by Blaine's presence, his eyebrows arching so high that they disappear into his bangs and his mouth slightly open in disbelief.

The only one who wouldn't judge or be surprised or be confused or make assumptions about Blaine's beliefs would be Joe. Sweet, accepting, understanding Joe. Joe who let Kurt come into a meeting after Karofksy's suicide attempt and didn't make a judgement or rush to make Kurt believe in God like New Directions did after he found out Kurt didn't believe in God. He listened to Kurt and offered a sympathetic ear while Sam, Quinn and Mercedes judged Karofsky for his decision. Joe who had his beliefs tested by Santana and Brittany's relationship but searched and searched until he came to a new belief that "love is love" no matter who it's with.

He wouldn't look at Blaine with eyes full of assumptions and distrust. He would accept Blaine, because unlike the rest of the members of the God Squad, Joe had a different way of thinking too. He also wouldn't look at him like that, because when he asked Joe if he could come to the meeting, he didn't give Blaine a weird look, in fact Joe looked at him with bright eyes and told him enthusiastically that he was welcome to any meeting of the God Squad. He wasn't the only one who responded enthusiastically when he asked about going to the meeting. Kurt also encouraged Blaine to go meet with them.

Kurt, the guy who mostly avoided anything having to do with God and his Squad, wanted him to go to this meeting, and Blaine was very thankful for that. He knew that Kurt was always a little wary of religion especially after New Directions had tried to convert him in the same week that his dad was lying in a coma at Lima Memorial. That was exactly the reason why Blaine was holding off on telling Kurt about his own beliefs. But the truth came out much sooner than he planned to.

It had been a quiet afternoon, sometime after prom but before Nationals in New York. Kurt and Blaine had recently become more...well, brave in their physical relationship exchanging heated kisses whenever they were alone. At that moment they were lying together on the couch in Blaine's living room while the TV was tuned to Anderson Cooper's show on CNN. (At first they were too preoccupied with their other activities to change the channel, but then they left it on because it was Anderson Cooper) He was doing a story on some political conflict or other in Washington D.C. and, as usual religion was dragged into the conflict. Kurt then set off on a tangent about it, but when he finished he realized that Blaine was staring off blankly into the distance. Blaine then began telling him everything.

After prom Blaine had told Kurt more about the Sadie Hawkin's incident and Kurt knew that Blaine had been moved to a larger hospital in Columbus because some of the damage was so bad. He didn't know that before the incident Blaine shared the same beliefs as Kurt. How he had stopped believing in God and let the words of other people affect him in such a horrible way. How horrible Blaine felt for not believing anymore, but his anger at others outweighed his beliefs. Kurt hadn't known that once Blaine was able to move freely he began to sneak out of his hospital room and explored the hospital. He didn't know that Blaine had found a nondenominational church. He didn't know that Blaine had gone inside to avoid nurses who had realized he was missing. It had been a Sunday and Priests and Fathers and Rabbis and other spiritual guides and they all spoke and preached and all of it filled Blaine with something he thought he had lost forever. He felt something in his soul, and the way these people were not preaching hate like the priests at his old church did, it made him believe again. Up until Kurt it had been the only thing to keep Blaine going, the only thing making him feel alive.

When Blaine finished his story he looked up at Kurt and saw his wide eyes, but before Blaine had a chance to say anything else Kurt tried to apologize for what he had said. But Blaine stopped Kurt and told Kurt that he accepted Kurt's beliefs because he knew where Kurt was coming from. Now that Blaine looks back at it, he sees that that was probably the moment when his and Kurt's relationship shifted. Instead of ignoring each other or screaming that they were right they both listened to each other. They readily accepted the fact that, yeah they had different beliefs but why should that stop them from being together. It felt like the moment where Kurt and Blaine's relationship evolved from something simple and new, into something that would last for a while. This conversation formed a tighter bond between the couple.

Just thinking about the memory made Blaine smile. He was so caught up in the memory he didn't realize he had moved towards the door until he felt his hand hit the door handle. He brought up his hand to the handle and gripped it tight. Blaine had come to the realization that it didn't matter what the others in the classroom thought about him, or if they thought a gay guy believing in God was weird. He didn't care because if they couldn't understand or wouldn't understand, he had Kurt to listen to him (and hopefully Joe, were such a thing to happen) Blaine turned the handle and stepped into the classroom.


End file.
